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Writer's pictureJody Williams

Your Inner Critic Is full of sh*t : How Self-Compassion Can Alleviate Stress.




Let’s cut to the chase.


You know that nagging voice in your head? The one that tells you you're not good enough, that you're messing everything up, that everyone else has it all figured out while you're just stumbling along?


Yeah, that one. Your inner critic.


Here's the stark reality: that voice is a deceiver. It's an enormous source of stress, leading to a cascade of adverse effects on your well-being.

But there's a way out. An antidote that's been hiding in plain sight: self-compassion.


Meet Your Inner Saboteur


First off, let's call out the culprit.


Your inner critic thrives on perfectionism, fear, and unrealistic expectations. It whispers (or sometimes shouts) that unless you're flawless, you're worthless. It magnifies mistakes and minimizes victories.


And stress? It feeds on this negativity. The more you listen to that inner critic, the more stress tightens its grip.


When I teach self-compassion to prisoners, I put it like this:"There are two types of correction officers in here. One that is militant and mean, and one that supports you and is nice. Which one is more helpful?"


And bam—just like that, they get it.


Your inner critic is like that mean, militant officer—constantly breaking you down. Self-compassion, on the other hand, is kind and supportive, helping you move forward. So, which voice are you going to listen to?


Why Being Hard on Yourself Backfires


We've been sold the myth that self-criticism is motivating, that if we just push ourselves harder, we'll finally measure up.


Newsflash: It's not working.


By challenging this narrative, you're not just taking back control, you're also relieving yourself from the burden of constant self-criticism. It's a decisive step towards self-empowerment.


Self-Compassion: The Unsung Hero


So what's the alternative? Treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend.

Self-compassion isn't about making excuses or dodging responsibility. It's about acknowledging that you're human and make mistakes, and that's okay.


When you practice self-compassion, you reduce stress at the source, stopping the spiral before it starts.


How to Practice Self-Compassion


Alright, let's get practical.


  1. Notice the Negative Talk

    The first step is awareness. Pay attention to your self-talk. When you catch yourself in a barrage of self-criticism, hit pause.

  2. Challenge the Narrative

    Ask yourself: Would I say this to someone I care about? If not, why is it okay to say it to yourself?

  3. Replace Harshness with Kindness

    Swap out the negative for something gentler. Instead of "I'm such a failure," try "I'm doing my best, and that's enough."

  4. Embrace Imperfection

    Perfection is a myth. Cut yourself some slack. Mistakes aren't the end—they're part of the journey.

  5. Connect with Others

    Remember, you're not alone in this battle. Everyone struggles with their inner critic. Sharing your experiences can lighten the load and make you feel more connected.


The Ripple Effect


Choosing self-compassion doesn't just feel better—it works.

  • Reduced Stress: Your body relaxes when it's not under constant attack.

  • Greater Resilience: You're better equipped to bounce back from setbacks.

  • Improved Well-Being: Mental and emotional health get a serious boost.

  • Enhanced Motivation: Believe it or not, kindness is a better motivator than criticism.


Making the Shift


Look, life throws enough punches. You don't need to be in your corner, throwing jabs at yourself.


Next time your inner critic starts mouthing off, try something different. Respond with kindness. Remind yourself that everyone struggles, and asking for help is okay.

Remember, this is a journey. There will be times when your inner critic is louder than others. But each time you respond with self-compassion, you strengthen your resilience and reduce stress.


The Takeaway


Your inner critic has had the mic for way too long. It's time to change the script.


Self-compassion is more than a buzzword—it's a powerful tool for reducing stress and living a fuller, happier life.


So, are you ready to tell that inner critic to take a hike? To start treating yourself with the kindness you deserve?


Trust me, your mind and body will thank you.

Let's make this the year you become your ally, not your enemy.


It's time to set yourself free.


I have a Retreat with Nadine from Reiki on the Rock that may interest you.

REPLENISH: A day of Stress Relief.


Whether you are juggling a demanding career, the demands of parenting, supporting others as a caregiver, or simply searching for a way to reset, this transformative experience will leave you feeling recharged, renewed, replenished, and ready to face life with peace and purpose.

For more information, or to purchase tickets, visit: https://nourish2024.my.canva.site/beyond-blissed

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